Convergence - The Great Ocean of Now
The thick mental fog of the genetic mind and ego can generate a sense of foreboding deeply rooted in the terror experienced when you were born into this world. It is a deep feeling that you can’t quite put your finger on that generates the sense that something is hopelessly wrong with you or a deep feeling of self-hatred. It is often experienced as a sickening feeling that coincides with the deep belief that you are hopelessly flawed, unlovable, unwanted, alone, and abandoned. This is the original sin—the exile from the paradise of Eden—the heartbreaking loss of the bliss of pure being you experienced in the womb. The death of this insidious feeling is a rebirth into the bliss of your being—the dramatic return to the source or pure consciousness. This sounds wonderful, but exactly how do you break free of the torture of self-hatred?
Bliss is your original mother—the source of life itself that you forget entirely during the terrifying process of birth. Once you are born, this raw terror transforms into an unconscious memory that is the fertile ground from which the seed of your ego grows, develops, and evolves. This unconscious terror is the root of every ego and is experienced as a deep sense that something is terribly wrong, which is what the baby naturally experiences during the birth process. After all, from the baby’s point of view, something is earth shatteringly wrong when their entire universe suddenly convulses in a series of overwhelming universal quakes that ruthlessly pushes them through a tiny black tunnel into an unknown, frightening, and foreign world.
Naturally, you forget your original birth mother and identify with your biological mother—this is the birth of self-hatred. Overtime the raw trauma of birth transforms from the feeling that something is terribly wrong on the outside into a deep sense and feeling that there is something terribly wrong on the inside, which is usually a secret known only to you—no one else seems as horribly unlovable and rotten as you. This dark secret is the origin of self-hatred and lurks behind everything you think, do, or say, which only seems to be confirmed by events unfolding in your life. This belief rooted in your subconscious acts like a thick invisible fog that hides the natural bliss in the core or your being.
All of your complex strategies to survive evolve from this primal fear, which morphs overtime into a complex network of mental strategies that create an illusory wall around your heart. This invisible wall feels like protection, but in reality is a prison that entraps you in the raw terror of living and the raw terror of dying—the ego paradox. It is a deep sense and feeling that you are an individual separate from everything and everyone—abandoned by God. This grand illusion of self-hatred seems very real, but is it? The feeling is so powerful and deep the natural question arises—is it really possible to break free of this ego paradox—the insidious trap of self-hatred?
The great golden key to the permanent end of self-hatred can be found in the ancient song of God—The Bhagavad Gita. This ancient scripture reveals the great secret to liberation from all forms of suffering lives in the three invisible and very holy rivers within you that are named existence or sat, consciousness or chit, and bliss or ananda the energy that animates your entire body. The convergence of these three invisible rivers is the great ocean of now—sat-chit-ananda—the unending bliss of your true nature alive in your heart that absolutely cannot be encapsulated or objectified by your mind.
The Buddha describes this convergence as sunyata and Christ describes it as love, but no word or words have ever fully described the vast ocean of bliss from which you were born—your original mother who is pure unalloyed consciousness. It is this wordless realm within you that sets you free from the ego paradox—the great nemesis of bliss—the triune trap of mind, body, and ego. This great mirage of reflective consciousness is ego, which is the fertile ground of self-hatred. The birth, life, and death of your body are the grand illusion known as the transmigration of the soul that keeps you suffering for eons upon eons. But how do you free yourself from this very potent illusion?
Bliss is rebirth. To be born again means you have completely totally seen through the illusion of you into the bliss of you—the direct discovery of the original mother—pure consciousness. It is simple. Bliss is consciousness. It is the great return to the ocean of bliss hidden within you that can occur faster than a finger snap—the great realization that you never left the bliss you experienced in the womb simply because you are that bliss—you never left the paradise of Eden—you just thought you did. How is it even possible to leave the great ocean of bliss that you always already are?
This sounds wonderful and is the precious reality of bliss, but how exactly does this help you overcome the debilitating feeling of self-hatred? To begin your own discovery of the vast convergence of the three holy rivers of sat-chit-ananda begins by questioning this you that you think you are—who are you or what are you? Can you show someone self-hatred? Does it really exist?
Self-hatred is the graveyard of the past. If you keep digging in this graveyard you will continue to suffer, but if you throw away the shovel called ‘I am me’ and dive into the vast invisible presence of your heart—you can discover instantly that in actuality you are perfect love—the vast indescribable ocean of now—the convergence of the three holy rivers of sat-chit-ananda.
Please don’t take my word for it—dive in right now. Let go of the miserable illusion of you and dive directly, intimately, eternally into the reality of you—bliss beyond all ideas of bliss—peace beyond all ideas of peace, and love beyond all ideas of love—this is the nature of bliss that never comes and never goes—the unending bliss of your true nature.
The ancient song of sat-chit-ananda is a-u-m the essence of the stateless state of bliss. If you sing this out loud or silently and give your full attention to its source in your heart you can see through the illusion of reflective consciousness. You can recognize you are love beyond all ideas of love.
This love annihilates the shadow of self-hatred with the eternal light of now. This now is the absence of time. It is the reality of you—the vast ocean of now you are is transcendent of time.
To realize this for yourself it is essential to stop believing the incessant chatter of your own mind and look inward to the source of the feeling ‘I am me.’
If you find the source you have found the ocean of bliss that you are and always will be.
This is bliss without end.
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